


Secrets

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Spanking, Unrequited Love?, dirty talking, sad fap is bad fap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 02:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5112362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur doesn't know that Alfred can hear everything from his room; every word, every moan, and every spank?</p>
<p>Yeah, it's best he doesn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

"Do you think Arthur-san is... frisky in bed?"

You almost didn't hear your bro Kiku at first, but when you did you almost spat out your food. You were eating lunch with him out on the school courtyard like usual, things quiet as they were when you were stuffing your face and Kiku was thinking. Your face was building up a blush, and you couldn't tell if he was serious or not. You had a nervous habit of giggling and laughing whenever a situation became even mildly sexual, which kept you from "giving the right signals" and getting laid, a lot.

You laughed. He couldn't be serious, right? Right? "Dude, dude, why are you asking that about my brother?" Fuck. Every time you call him your brother, you find yourself more and more unable to tell Kiku that you have a crush on your stepbrother. Fuck!

"I am just curious." Kiku started doing that weird thing where it's like you can visually see a person emotionally caving in with embarrassement, despite barely moving. It was something you caught yourself doing a lot.

But you disregarded your empathy, in a pathetic attempt to defend your secret. "Are you gay for him? Trust me, I live with him and he's a prude loser at home, too."

"I'm pan, Alfred. And no, it's really just curiosity. I remembered seeing something about how prude or easily embarrassed people tend to be kinkier." Kiku was putting his own secret on the line, you noticed. But come on, it's kind of obvious his basement is probably kink galore. You admire him loosely keeping that from you, even if it was still a secret. It made you feel trusted.

"Wait, wait; Arthur KINKland." The both of you started laughing, and the conversation quickly drifted away from Arthur. Your secret was safe, for another day at least.

 

You told Kiku everything. You always told him everything! One time you even (although drunk) told him you had a crush on him. It was short-lived, though, and you hoped this Arthur thing would be, too. But it's been months and your hormonal mind couldn't stop thinking about him. You felt incredibly guilty, but you weren't sure why. Kiku would be the one able to help you, he was your best friend, but you were so afraid of his initial reaction. That's how you were with most things.

You never really thought of Arthur as your brother. Your dad married his mom, and you moved with your dad to his mom's when you started high school. He was a senior at the time, and had already moved out. The few times you would see him was at school or at holidays, and every time you saw him you kind of got that "Yes, God!" feeling as your heartbeat sped up. You just thought he was cute, but you'd never tap that actually.

When he graduated and started college, you saw him less and less. That "Yes, God!" feeling faded, and you got a good laugh out of it occasionally. When your senior year was about to begin, your dad dropped the bombshell that him and your stepmom were getting divorced, and he was moving back to your hometown. He gave you the option to stay here, to finish up school, and you took it. But unsurprisingly to you, your stepmother wasn't too fond of the plan, so here you were now living with Arthur.

His apartment wasn't too large, but there was enough room for you to move in. Your room was right next to his, the wall between so thin you swore you heard him breathing some nights. He didn't seem to notice, being noisy at night when you were supposed to be asleep. Dickhead. But you loved him. "Dickhead" to yourself.

You had gotten home early, not exactly feeling up for swim practice tonight. Arthur wasn't home yet, probably doing some college stuff. Or something. Shutting your bedroom door behind you, you collapsed on your bed. Your body's been feeling kind of uncomfortable since lunch; that strange mix of "I want to cry" and "I want to fap". But you'd never do both, you haven't slipped that low on the Pity Me scale yet. You rolled on your back and lifted your hips to take your pants off, closing your eyes. You did your best to imagine your hands were his thin, somehow erotically boney hands, but imagination hasn't ever been your strongest ability. You began the tedious task of stroking yourself to life, trying to find the right pace, the right unbelievably unrealistic cheesy but hot scenarios to imagine yourself and him in. Him giving you a bath, him walking in on you masturbating, him just randomly making a move and seizing your bits. Now that you think of it, all of these scenarios involved you bottoming. Huh. And would you look at that you're half hard.

You so badly just wanted to get this over with. The longer it went on, the more anxious you became. Parts of you still desperately clinged for a normal relationship with Arthur, and muttering his name while you jerked yourself was sending those parts haywire with anxiety. He's YOUR BROTHER. He's going to be sick and disgusted with you if he finds out. He hates you, what's the point?

You silenced those parts of you by reaching down and sticking a finger inside of you. It was the most you'd be able to fit, since you didn't have anything to use as lube, but it was enough stimulation to get you hard. One step closer to finishing now. Alright, back to imagining.

He had just slipped a finger in you, his breath hot against your neck as he breathed sweet compliments to you like you were worth something. Like you weren't a fuck up for once. Your heart fluttered at the thought, and you contently hummed. He was kissing your neck, your jaw, and going up to your ear and sucking your lobe the way you were sure you liked. You never really got to experience things like this in real life.

Just as you were about to brave it and put a second finger in, you heard a door open. Low murmurs came after, and you quickly recognized them as Arthur's and one of his friends. Amongst those murmurs, the wet sounds of kissing could be heard. Not much of a friend afterall, huh? You let go of yourself and waited for the inevitable blue balls. There was no way you could come with them there, you were always too loud to do it when someone was home.

The kissing stopped when you heard them go into Arthur's room. "Is your brother home?" Oh, it was the French one. You weren't sure if you liked him or not, but you were surprised Arthur liked him enough to take him home.

"No, he shouldn't be back for-" another kiss "-an hour and a half. And he's not my brother." That last part oddly turned you on.

The sounds of clothes rustling and being thrown and bits and pieces of French was all you could hear. It seemed like your body stopped functioning just so that the events in the next room could play for you uninterrupted. That's what it felt like to you: a play.

Was this really happening? Was Arthur really having sex with someone in the next room? You felt a pang in your heart, but you knew he didn't belong to you. It wasn't like he was dating you, he was free to do as he pleased. And yet, you could feel the tears coming. You managed to keep from full-out messy crying, and focused on the sound of Arthur.

His bed creaked. More kissing could be heard. Arthur gasped, Francis chuckled, Arthur cursed him. More creaking, Francis is making more noise. Somehow your hands found their way back to your cock, and you were slowly stroking yourself, imagining you were in there with him. What does his face look like when he comes? Your cock twitched. You were biting your thumb to keep quiet.

"Do you have any -ahh- lube?"

"Of course, idiot. Not like it would be a problem if I didn't, you always have some with you, don't you? Slut."

You bite down harder on your thumb. The dirty talking was a real surprise, and you hoped there was more.

"A whore like you probably doesn't even need prepped, right?" You could hear Francis whine, your imagination going wild. "Your ass is always ready for anybody, isn't it?"

You heard a smack, followed by some French moaning. You only ever taken one French class, and the words coming out of his mouth would make any French teacher faint.

"Merci-"

"English."

"Arthur please-" another smack "-Ohh my god please fuck me."

"Show me how much you want my cock."

Francis was panting, unable to form words. Two more spanks. "Fuck! Please I need your cock in me please let me ride you."

You never would of thought someone like Arthur would be into spanking. Your thoughts go back to earlier today, and it takes everything to stop you from bursting out laughing. Arthur KINKland. You feel kinda stupid for laughing at your own joke but holy hell you're good. You try to focus on listening again, and now you're hearing the cap of something opening. You figure it's lube, so at least you don't have to have your fantasies tainted with a 100% sadistic Arthur. Francis is whining and cursing again.

"What? Can't a slut handle two fingers?"

"Arthur, fuuck."

"Such vulgar language coming from an ass kisser. Would you want any of your goody, rich frat friends hearing you?" Arthur smacked him again. "After you worked so hard to find a good frat house and get in?"

Holy shit; you still couldn't believe Arthur had it in him. It scared you a little, but seemed to make your cock drool.

"Mm, you won't need to use three fingers, your dick isn't that big, mon cher." So Francis was trying to dirty talk back? You knew you wouldn't be able to. Unsurprisingly, his attempt was met with a spank.

"Fine, be my guest if you think you can take it." Only seconds after, Francis cried out, but underneath that you heard Arthur's low, intoxicating moan.

"So bloody tight."

"Ahh-oh fuck Arthur."

You couldn't believe you were getting off to this, but you were. Your body never felt so hot, and you wondered if actually having sex could make it any hotter. But you would never get to fuck Arthur, and no one would ever fuck someone as sexually awkward as you. So was your sad existence. Arthur's bed was creaking miserably, and under the creaking and Francis's moans, you focused on Arthur. His panting, the muttered curses, and the sweet moans. For a second you could pretend you were making him like that, you were causing every delicious sound.

You came before they finished, but you waited to clean yourself off. What would Arthur do if he found you here? He'd blush and be pissed off. Francis would laugh and give you a high five. No one would know you were jacking off to them fucking each other. You could just keep your secret forever and no one would have to know.

Arthur would hate you if he knew. You'd be kicked out, and your dad would be disgusted by you. Word would get out that you were "The Boy Who was Gay for his Stepbrother". No one would ever take you seriously again, not that many do now. You were supposed to be a hero, when did that stop? Sighing, you quietly got up and wiped yourself off with a dirty shirt. Woe is me, you thought to yourself.


End file.
